Oh The Pain

So today I go to see our favorite family physician at the local clinic, I called early today to make an appointment.  When making the appointment, of course, they always ask and what are we seeing you for…I say I broke my little toe yesterday.  I just didn't have the energy to explain to her how I like to practice a holistic approach to healing called DENIAL!   Appointment girl said “Yesterday??”…yes, it was yesterday..do you have any appointments for this afternoon?  Appointment girl…Dr. can see you in 30 minutes…ME..I’ll be there!
The thing is, I've got really lovely toes, but I also have a life-long habit of ramming them into stationary objects. My pinky toes are always reaching out and grabbing the corners of furniture.And yesterday I was just passing through the kitchen on my way to catch that speedy little grandson who is on his way to the basement stairs  when suddenly the pinky toe on my right foot lunged at the kitchen table chair and grabbed hold of its wooden base.
It all happened so quickly that it wasn't until five seconds later that I remembered hearing a CRUNCH! And then the pain settled in, a throbbing, soaring pain. Hours later the entire right side of my foot begins turning black. Is that not the most pathetic thing you've ever heard? I mean, it's not like I can go around bragging about the wild bear I wrestled to the ground. People ask me why I'm limping and I want to go, "I was trying to get away from whatever that problem was at the Maverik! Just couldn’t get back into my car fast enough!” When really I got my foot whooped by an inanimate chair.
I thought I'd just treat it at home, stick a bag of ice on it every other hour and pop a few Tylenol here and there. Except I forgot I was living with the fastest little one year old on the planet. Who doesn’t give a darn about where his little feet land…it can be on top of my pinkie even if it is lifted up on top of a pillow…  Yes,of course he just follows me around, trailing my every move, and treated my toe like the wounded sheep most vulnerable to wolves. It was like radar…let’s step on Grandma’s toe!  Cute, right?
The bruising and pain only got worse, so I decided I had to give in and have the doctor take a look at it, just give me one of those stylish $50 boot shoe and I’ll be good to go. Good news is that my toe is still attached to my foot, although there is a clear spiral fracture on my little piggy that cries “Wee Wee Wee all the way home”!  

This is a spiral fracture…and this is not my toe!  I had never heard of a spiral fracture and said to the Dr….”What”  All I could pictures was the Spiral Jetty in the Great Salt Lake…and how in the world could my toe look like that????

 
Geeze I must have really wrapped my toe around that chair! 

Now the bad news is that I have to wear an incredibly unfashionable boot for the next three weeks, and OMG, the immobility is DRIVING ME NUTS.  Seeing a podiatrist on Thursday….updates soon!