Tao Verse 7

Heaven is eternal—the earth endures,

Why do heaven and earth last forever?

They do not live for themselves only.

This is the secret of their durability.

For this reason the sage puts himself last

and so ends up ahead.

He stays a witness to life,

so he endures.

Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled.

Through selfless action, fulfillment is attained.

We are not in this world for ourselves. We came here to do some very specific work: to look past our own selfish desires and to share of ourselves with others. Our goal is to get to a place where we are acting in true service to one another, no matter what our circumstances might be. Our marriage would be a good place to start. My DH and I have been together for 26 years now. Each of us was in a former marriage we never anticipated would end, and we started a new life together traveling in what I thought was the same direction. We had both come to the end of a tragedy in our life….Divorce in my opinion is a tragedy……but it did give us both an opportunity to re-do. It forced us to start life over again along a different path, hopefully a happier path. Somewhere along that path I think “ego” stepped in. We both started going about our life in our own direction.

Giving of oneself is one of the hardest aspects of our marriage. I truly believe my tendency is to be self-focused: I want to make sure I’m happy; that I get my way; that I’m “usual” right. But happiness in our marriage won’t and cannot be achieved when one person puts their own selfish needs first. Just like being happy in my life, being happy in my marriage is a choice. I can choose to say unkind words or I can choose to hold my tongue. I can choose to be angry or I can choose to forgive. I can choose to work for a happy, healthy marriage or I can choose not to. The secret to an eternal marriage is to live for one another.

Today, I will choose to do one completely selfless act towards my marriage. I know it can make all the difference in the world, for without selfless service, no one ever receives the fruits of their rewards!